I
will be speaking of the loneliest journey ever made and the unending blessings
it brought to all in the human family. I speak of the Savior’s solitary task of
shouldering alone the burden of our salvation. Rightly He would say: “I have
trodden alone; and of the people there was none with me. … I looked, and there
was none to help; and I wondered that there was none to uphold [me].” 1
Of
divine necessity, the supporting circle around Jesus got smaller and smaller
and smaller, essentially His lonely journey back to His Father continued
without comfort or companionship.
The
most difficult moment in all of this solitary journey to Atonement; those final
moments for which Jesus must have been prepared intellectually and physically
but which He may not have fully anticipated emotionally and spiritually—that
concluding descent into the paralyzing despair of divine withdrawal when He
cries in ultimate loneliness, “My God, my God, why
hast thou forsaken me?” 16
The
loss of mortal support He had anticipated, but apparently He had not
comprehended this. Had He not said to His disciples, “Behold, the hour … is now
come, that ye shall be scattered, every man to his own, and shall leave me
alone: and yet I am not alone, because the Father is with me” and “The Father
hath not left me alone; for I do always those things that please him”? 17
He did please His Father perfectly and that
a perfect Father did not forsake His Son in that hour. In all of Christ’s mortal ministry the Father
may never have been closer to His Son than in these agonizing final moments of
suffering. Nevertheless, that the supreme sacrifice of His Son might be as
complete as it was voluntary and solitary, the Father briefly withdrew from
Jesus the comfort of His Spirit, the support of His personal presence. It was
required, indeed it was central to the significance of the Atonement, that this
perfect Son who had never spoken ill nor done wrong nor touched an unclean
thing had to know how the rest of humankind—us, all of us—would feel when we
did commit such sins. For His Atonement to be infinite and eternal, He had to
feel what it was like to die not only physically but spiritually, to sense what
it was like to have the divine Spirit withdraw, leaving one feeling totally,
abjectly, hopelessly alone.
At
times we may feel alone, we may feel as though our circle of support has gotten
smaller; we’re never left alone to suffer and Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ
are a constant in this difficult world.
Even when everything feels debilitating, and you’re completely numb, you
feel like you can’t handle it anymore, you feel helpless. Turn to God, let him help you, turn to
prayer, follow the guidance and promptings to seek help, and accept it! When the weight of self-doubt and
insecurities break us down, we have to know, we’re not alone!
Jesus
held on. He pressed on. The goodness in Him allowed faith to triumph even in a
state of complete anguish. The trust He lived by told Him in spite of His
feelings that divine compassion is never absent, that God is always faithful,
that He never flees nor fails us. When the uttermost farthing had then been
paid, when Christ’s determination to be faithful was as obvious as it was
utterly invincible, finally and mercifully, it was “finished.” 18 Against all odds and with none to
help or uphold Him, with faith in the God He knew was there, Jesus Christ, the
living Son of the living God, restored physical life where death had held sway
and brought joyful, spiritual redemption out of sin, hellish darkness, and
despair.
“Years ago there was a little
one-room schoolhouse in the mountains of Virginia where the boys were so rough
that no teacher had been able to handle them.
“A young, inexperienced teacher
applied, and the old director scanned him and asked: ‘Young fellow, do you know
that you are asking for an awful beating? Every teacher that we have had here
for years has had to take one.’
“‘I will risk it,’ he replied.
“The first day of school came, and
the teacher appeared for duty. One big fellow named Tom whispered: ‘I won’t
need any help with this one. I can lick him myself.’
“The teacher said, ‘Good morning,
boys, we have come to conduct school.’ They yelled and made fun at the top of
their voices. ‘Now, I want a good school, but I confess that I do not know how
unless you help me. Suppose we have a few rules. You tell me, and I will write
them on the blackboard.’
“One fellow yelled, ‘No stealing!’
Another yelled, ‘On time.’ Finally, ten rules appeared on the blackboard.
“‘Now,’ said the teacher, ‘a law is
not good unless there is a penalty attached. What shall we do with one who
breaks the rules?’
“‘Beat him across the back ten times
without his coat on,’ came the response from the class.
“‘That is pretty severe, boys. Are
you sure that you are ready to stand by it?’ Another yelled, ‘I second the
motion,’ and the teacher said, ‘All right, we will live by them! Class, come to
order!’
“In a day or so, ‘Big Tom’ found
that his lunch had been stolen. The thief was located—a little hungry fellow,
about ten years old. ‘We have found the thief and he must be punished according
to your rule—ten stripes across the back. Jim, come up here!’ the teacher said.
“The little fellow, trembling, came
up slowly with a big coat fastened up to his neck and pleaded, ‘Teacher, you
can lick me as hard as you like, but please, don’t take my coat off!’
“‘Take your coat off,’ the teacher
said. ‘You helped make the rules!’
“‘Oh, teacher, don’t make me!’ He
began to unbutton, and what did the teacher see? The boy had no shirt on, and
revealed a bony little crippled body.
“‘How can I whip this child?’ he
thought. ‘But I must, I must do something if I am to keep this school.’
Everything was quiet as death.
“‘How come you aren’t wearing a
shirt, Jim?’
“He replied, ‘My father died and my
mother is very poor. I have only one shirt and she is washing it today, and I
wore my brother’s big coat to keep me warm.’
“The teacher, with rod in hand,
hesitated. Just then ‘Big Tom’ jumped to his feet and said, ‘Teacher, if you
don’t object, I will take Jim’s licking for him.’
“‘Very well, there is a certain law
that one can become a substitute for another. Are you all agreed?’
“Off came
Tom’s coat, and after five strokes the rod broke! The teacher bowed his head in
his hands and thought, ‘How can I finish this awful task?’ Then he heard the
class sobbing, and what did he see? Little Jim had
reached up and caught Tom with both arms around his neck. ‘Tom, I’m sorry that
I stole your lunch, but I was awful hungry. Tom, I will love you till I die for
taking my licking for me! Yes, I will love you forever!’”
To lift a
phrase from this simple story, Jesus, my Redeemer, has taken “my licking for
me” and yours for you.
“Surely he hath borne our griefs,
and carried our sorrows: …
Down
through generations of time come Christ’s excellent example, His welcome words,
His divine deeds. They inspire patience
to endure affliction, strength to bear grief, courage to face death, and
confidence to meet life. In this world
of chaos, of trial, of uncertainty, our need for divine guidance has never been
more apparent. When life takes an
unexpected turn we may call out to our Father in Heaven “Why me?” We know after each trial we face that it was
for a purpose, at the time we feel as though there is no light at the end of
the tunnel. We feel surrounded by
frustration, overcome with a broken spirit, and as though all we see is an
unending supply of trouble. We have to
fight through the darkness! We cannot
expect instantaneous solutions, we forget that the heavenly virtue of patience
is required. Challenges present
themselves in so many ways in this life:
physical disabilities, passing of loved ones, divorce, mental and
emotional illness, job troubles, financial strain… This list is endless. Sometimes we have a tendency to feel
detached, isolated, and alone. We wonder
“How will I get through this?” What
brings us around and comforts us, is the Gospel. From the bed of pain, and the pillow wet with
tears we are uplifted by the divine reassurance and precious promise: “I will not fail thee, nor forsake thee!”
One
of the great consolations of the Atonement is that because Jesus walked such a
long, lonely path utterly alone, we do not have to do so. His solitary journey brought great
company for our little version of that path—the merciful care of our Father in
Heaven, the unfailing companionship of this Beloved Son, the gift of the Holy Ghost,
family members on both sides of the veil, spouses, and friends. All of
these and more have been given as companions for our mortal journey because of
the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the Restoration of His gospel.
Trumpeted from the summit of Calvary is the truth that we will never be left
alone nor unaided, even if sometimes we may feel that we are. Truly the Redeemer of us all said: “I will not leave
you comfortless: [My Father and] I will come to you [and abide with you].” 20
Christ
suffered in solitude for a divine purpose.
He took upon him the pain and suffering for all the world across all
generations so that we wouldn’t have to.
He is the only soul ever to suffer alone. He promises that he will be with us always,
that we will not go through any trial or tribulation in which he doesn’t
already know we can overcome, we just have to have faith in his plan and trust
that we can make it through the hardest times.
Even when it seems like it is never ending, that the pain and heartache
and sadness will never leave us. It
will! Christ suffered it all as an
example to us, in hopes that we would follow his lead and be able to come out
of hard times with burdens lifted, having built a stronger spirit, and a
countenance that others may look upon to find hope.
The pain of loneliness seems to be part of the
mortal experience. But the Lord in His mercy has made it so that we need never
deal with the challenges of mortality alone. Life is hard. Picking up the pieces when covenants have
been compromised or values violated that’s hard. The gospel provides us the
tools to cope with the mistakes, the heartaches, the disappointments we can
expect to experience here.
In
striving for some peace and understanding in these difficult matters, it is
crucial to remember that we are living—and chose to live—in a fallen world
where for divine purposes our pursuit of godliness will be tested and tried
again and again. Of greatest assurance in God’s plan is that a Savior was
promised, a Redeemer, who through our faith in Him would lift us triumphantly
over those tests and trials, even though the cost to do so would be
unfathomable for both the Father who sent Him and the Son who came. It is only
an appreciation of this divine love that will make our own lesser suffering
first bearable, then understandable, and finally redemptive.
Above
all, never lose faith in your Father in Heaven, who loves you more than you can
comprehend. As President Monson said:
“That love never changes. … It is there for you when you are sad or happy,
discouraged or hopeful. God’s love is there for you whether or not you feel you
deserve [it]. It is simply always there.” 4 Never, ever doubt that, and never
harden your heart. Faithfully pursue the time-tested devotional practices that
bring the Spirit of the Lord into your life.
Hold fast to the perfecting promises of the Atonement of Jesus Christ.
Believe in miracles. Hope is never lost. If those miracles do not come
soon or fully or seemingly at all, remember the Savior’s own anguished example:
if the bitter cup does not pass, drink it and be strong, trusting in happier
days ahead. 5
Don’t
assume you can fix everything, but fix what you can. If those are only small
victories, be grateful for them and be patient. Dozens of times in the
scriptures, the Lord commands someone to “stand still” or “be still”—and wait. 6 Patiently enduring some things is
part of our mortal education. Also remember that through any difficult challenge,
there is still much in life to be hopeful about and grateful for. We are
infinitely more than our limitations or our afflictions! He will not take your afflictions from you,
but he will comfort and lead you with love through whatever storm you face.
Whatever
your struggle —— Trust in God. Hold on in His love. Know that one day the dawn
will break brightly and all shadows of mortality will flee. Though we may feel
we are “like a broken vessel,” 10 we must remember, that vessel is in
the hands of the divine potter. Broken minds, broken bones and broken hearts
are healed.
As
I contemplated the subject I was given, the Atonement, two words resonated
within me, Comfort and Companionship.
Though seemingly insignificant at first, I found that I could not pull
my thoughts away from what they represented; the divine promise that we will
not be left to suffer alone.
Through
odd circumstances Kurtis and I found each other. I had prayed so fervently for Heavenly Father
to send someone meant just for me. Never
did I imagine how much that would ring true.
Eleven years ago on April 12th my mom passed away suddenly
and unexpectedly. It shook the very
foundation for which my whole life was built upon. Here I was 4 ½ months pregnant with our
oldest, Kambry, and I’d only been married a little over a year. I was only beginning to learn how to be a
wife, what it was like to go through pregnancy and preparing for
motherhood. I never imagined that I’d
have to go through anything without her.
She was my best friend, my rock, my assurance that I could make it
through even the hardest times. When we
were told she had passed, Kurtis immediately gave me a husbands blessing. He let me scream and yell in anger and
frustration, he held me every time I cried myself to sleep completely
overwhelmed with grief, and he’s continued to hold me up when I can’t do it on
my own. In him I’ve gained an eternal
companion, a shoulder to wet with tears, and loving arms to embrace me. Through him I have gained a close, loving
family. A mother and father in law whom
love and care about me as if I were one of their own, brothers whom love me as
only a brother can, and sisters, so many sisters whom stick by me regardless of
how absurd I can be.
I remember speaking at my mom’s
funeral. Her goodness always caused me
to reach a little higher. I still
remember her smiles, her laugh, her kind words, her sarcasm and quick wit, and
her great ability to take care of others. And then she who had been so bright
and good suddenly died. I remember looking upon her. There was neither
recognition nor motion nor word of any kind. With such stern finality it was
all so different.
I knew,
that never again in mortality would I hear her voice. But a tender sweetness,
indescribable in nature, seemed to say, “Don’t worry. All of this is part of my
plan. None can escape death. Even my Beloved Son died upon the cross. But through
so doing He became the glorious first fruits of the Resurrection.
He took from death its sting and from the grave its victory.” And whosoever liveth and believeth in me
shall never die”
Though
it may seem silly, I pray to my mom frequently, I always have, I still seek out
her guidance, I still ask for her help just to get me through, because I often
just don’t feel like I can cope. I
struggle to deal with thoughts and emotions involving grief and sorrow, bitter
and angry, sad and lonely, lost and confused.
I’ve made many mistakes over the last eleven years and my faith in the
Atonement has been tested time and time again.
At times feeling utterly and entirely alone. Afraid that I’ll not be forgiven for sins
I’ve committed, unable to trust myself to make the right choice, feelings of
inadequacy, embarrassed to admit when I need help.
“There
are times when we will experience heartbreaking sorrow, when we will grieve and
when we may be tested to our limits.
However, such difficulties allow us to change for the better, to rebuild
our lives in the way our Heavenly Father teaches us, and to become something
different from what we were – better than what we were, more understanding than
what we were, more empathetic than what we were, with stronger testimonies than
we had before.”
A
divine purpose is evident in everything we do.
Including the struggles we are meant to endure. Without my struggles I would never have
realized my strength. Without my wrong
choices I would not have discovered how deeply loving and forgiving Heavenly
Father is. Without my pain and regret I
wouldn’t have the empathy necessary to help someone else struggling with
situations similar to mine. Everything
has a purpose. When people come into our
lives we never know what part they’ll play.
It can be a boy who becomes an eternal companion, a bishop called at
just the right time, or a friend who for reasons beyond comprehension is
unwavering in their love for you, a friend whom gives you assurance when you
lack confidence who pushes you when you want to give up, who sees the good in
you when you don’t see it in yourself, and who’s always there.
I
bear testimony to you that never in my life have I been without comfort and
companionship. “Times when I was at my
lowest and saw only one set of footprints, those are the times that He carried
me.” Never have I been left to suffer
alone. If you are lonely please know you
can find comfort. If you are
discouraged, please know you can find hope.
If you are poor in spirit, please know you can be strengthened. If you feel broken, please know you can be
mended.
Because,
even though life is messy and not perfect and we have moments where we fail,
the moments where we rise up will outshine them all. We will see where we soared; those are the
moments that matter most.
